You want fair? Look in the dictionary

This year there are about a dozen people seeking the office of governor and hundreds more vying for seats in the statehouse and the U.S. Congress.

As the primary elections draw near to decide the final candidates to pursue these offices, prepare to hear campaign promises and speeches until you are sick of the campaigning.

Normally the political process does not bother me until a candidate utters the one phrase that makes me clinch my jaw in anger — it’s not fair.

Sometimes the politicians say it’s not fair that Political Action Committees launder funds so that nobody knows where a contribution for the opposing candidate comes from.

Other times they say it’s not fair that some people are taxed at different rates than other people.

I’ve got a news flash for the politicians — life is not fair.

Never has been, and it never will be.

Fair is defined as: 1) regular and even; 2) free of obstacles; 3) impartial; and 4) just to all parties.

Sorry folks, fair does not exist in real life. It only exists in the dictionary somewhere between the entries for fabulous and foul.

My mother taught me early about “fair.”

To her it was a word to either describe a place you go to eat fried food and enjoy rides or used to describe the weather in the spring and fall.

Yes it is nice to think of a world where everything is fair – people don’t mistreat each other and everybody has an equal shot at exceeding.

But wouldn’t that be boring?

If everybody had an equal chance of getting tickets to a once-in-a-lifetime event, would it be cherished as such a special occasion or would it be just another day?

If everybody had the same chance to get into an Ivy League school, would you celebrate your accomplishment as much or would it be no better than enrolling in a community college?

Fair is a construction of human thinking that has no place in nature. If the world were fair, a cheetah would not be able to outrun a gazelle, which stands little chance in a head-to-head fight against the cheetah.

Besides, what is fair for one group might not be fair for another group.

Politicians will try to convince voters that it is not fair that the rich doctor pays less in taxes — in relation to income — than the guy working at a fast food joint.

What they will not address is the “fairness” of the same doctor spending eight years in medical school and working 60 hours per week only to see his money taken by the government to support some people who feel there is nothing wrong with sitting around and collecting welfare.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not opposed to helping people who need it, but this is America.

People are supposed to be rewarded for hard work, not punished for it.

So when the politicians begin promising “fairness” in their campaigns, be cautious. That is one promise that they definitely won’t keep, because it is impossible.

Fair only comes around once a year when the big trucks bring the rides to town. Okay, three times — I forgot about spring and fall for a moment.