• 64°
franklin county times
FILE PHOTO

Scamming the scammer 

A few weeks ago, I got a text from someone who said their name was Zorayna and asked if I was Darlene. I said “no,” they apologized profusely, stated their assistant left the wrong number, called the incident a “beautiful misunderstanding,” and apologized once more. After thanking me, apologizing again, repeating their name and asking my name, that’s when I decided to see how long I could keep things going.

There were long gaps between many of the responses. I imagine “Zorayna” was referring to a complex script to try to figure out the best way to proceed. “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,” I answered, barely managing to refrain from singing the familiar catchy children’s tune. Their next text proceeded to tell me I had a “nice name” and that I was “very special.”

“Zorayna” said they lived in “LA, California” – is there another? – and asked where I was from, to which I answered “the Highlands of Scotland.” I began to wish I had given my name as Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod instead. If you know, you know.

Clearly unfamiliar with my references, “Zorayna” said they were 35 years old and asked my age, to which I said I had just turned 64 the previous month “right before my grandson’s wedding.” “Zorayna” said the Highlands of Scotland was a nice place and asked where I was currently living and working. I said I was a clown for children’s parties “mostly in northern Oregon.”

They expressed “a belated wish” for me to have “an experienced age, a happy birthday and a happy marriage for my grandchildren” and asked if I was “living the retired life.” I thanked “Zorayna” for their “most kind wishes” and said I also spent time teaching clowning courses for a friend’s academy, working as a substitute school crossing guard and serving as president of my crossword club.

“Zorayna” said children should like me as I was “hardworking” and asked whether I had “the choice to invest to increase their income.” I stated I had very little money as I had just started my own umbrella company. As I debated whether to incorporate a penguin into the tale, they asked if it was a very big company, sending a message before I could answer with a long string of Asian characters with one English “word” in the middle, doubtless the name of their scamming company.

I said my company so far consisted of “only three umbrellas and a hat stand,” adding we were hoping to expand the offerings to include monocles and top hats, but “good monocle glass” is just “so expensive this time of year, and so difficult to find.”

“Zorayna” wished me luck, I thanked them for their “most kind wishes,” and they said “Amen.” I’m sure we all have our own ridiculous stories of telemarketing scam attempts. What are yours?

To read more stories from my experiences with text messaging scam artists, click HERE.

Franklin County

Tom Strange: Field is testament to councilman’s dedication

Franklin County

Northwest-Shoals offers Summer Youth Employment Program

News

City of Russellville receives Main Street designation 

Features

Beekeeping is buzzy business

Franklin County

Maj. William Russell: City owes its name to pioneer settler

News

Expect closures for U.S. 43 at Walmart 

Franklin County

RCS, FCS offer seamless summer meal programs

Belgreen

Belgreen FFCLA hosts basketball tournament to help hunger

Franklin County

Phi Theta Kappa inducts honorees from Franklin County at NEMCC

Belgreen

Congratulations to the Class of 2023!

News

PHOTOS: West Elementary enjoys color run

Lifestyles

Strawberry farm offers u-pick fun

News

PHOTOS: RHS Class of 2023 seniors graduate

Belgreen

PHOTOS: Tharptown, Phil Campbell, Belgreen, Vina, Red Bay seniors graduate

Franklin County

Charles Parrish: Superintendent’s love for school system sees stadium named in his honor

High School Sports

Kiel helps obtain funds for TES bleachers 

News

Area residents among those on ICC honors lists

Franklin County

FC chooses new assistant county engineer 

News

Red Bay’s Weatherford Library gears up for summer reading program

News

NW-SCC students to showcase their art at Tennessee Valley Museum of Art

Franklin County

Tharptown High School rocketry team blasts into second place in nation

News

Vina High School holds Spring Spectacular 

News

RES fifth grade chorus presents “RES Goes Country” 

News

Addie’s Flip Tip and Tap holds 18th annual dance recital

x