Avoiding bitterness in seasons of grief

This week my grandmother will begin her new normal: life without the man she’s loved since she first saw him at age 17 by her side.

I thought of her as I was studying Ruth’s mother-in-law Naomi.

Naomi experienced great loss and responded with bitterness, even changing her name to the word for bitter. She could only see the emptiness in her life. When she returned to Bethlehem after the deaths of her husband and sons, she told those who greeted her, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty” (Ruth 1:20-21).

Even with her daughter-in-law Ruth, the one who had said nothing but death could separate her from Naomi, by her side, all the widow could find was bitterness and loss.

I’ve been there myself. Maybe you have too? Maybe you’re there right now. I get it.

Since we moved back to Alabama, we’ve watched friends and family endure some of the most difficult situations life can bring – tragic loss of life, unexpected loss of jobs and relationships broken due to the devastating consequences of sin. Life on this earth brings sorrow and heartache.

It’s a broken, sinful place we live in. We know it, because we are broken and sinful ourselves.

But how do we keep from becoming Maras? How do we keep our focus on the provision and love of the Lord, even in the darkest days?

I’ve watched my Bigmama these past days and learned some important truths from her; truths that allow us to find beauty in the ashes and joy even in our mourning.

First, we grieve with hope. I shared about this a little bit last week in my column. I shared 1 Thessalonians 4:14 and these words, “We know he is healed and whole. And we know he is in the presence of the Savior whose love he proclaimed from pulpits and in conversations for almost 87 years. And we know we will one day see him again. And in that we do have true hope!” In the hardest days, we can trust the hope we have in Christ – that one day he will make all things new.

Second, we worship with confidence. At the memorial service Sunday, we sang many of my Bigdaddy’s favorite songs. As I stood in the row behind my grandmother and her children, we sang with confidence of the truth “because HE lives, I can face tomorrow.”

Third, we live with boldness. My Bigmama was making plans even Sunday afternoon for all she was going to do this week and even in the next year. Our faith enables us to live with boldness in the wake of our grief and sorrow.

Whatever season you are in, I pray you know the faithfulness of God. When the waves of grief wash over you, may you choose to remember the hope you have in Christ and continue to worship and live with confidence and boldness.