Tuning into new coaches for Bulldogs

By By Will Bradwell / sports columnist
Oct. 23, 2003
So, Jackie Sherrill is calling it quits.
After 13 seasons, the dean of Southeastern Conference head coaches is stepping down after three straight lousy seasons. This is a good move for everybody. Jackie gets a farewell lovefest, and State gets a head start on looking for a new coach.
That's easier said than done, though. WIth the state of the MSU program and the NCAA axe poised to fall, the Bulldogs may have to rule out someone who is already a head coach. They're going to need somebody who wants in the game.
Enter television. TV networks have been scooping up refuse from the coaching carousel for years. Why can't college football start picking off color commentators? Heck, State could start a trend.
How about Rush Limbaugh? If ESPN can hire newly-fired coaches, can't someone hire a newly-fired commentator? Granted, Limbaugh knows nothing about football, and judging by his physique he hasn't played it anytime recently. At the very least he'd bring a working knowledge of how to subdue his players' aches and pains.
Okay, so maybe that's not a good idea. TV Land is a big place though, right? There has to be a load of talent out there.
How about Terry Bowden? That guy actually has coaching experience, even if his tenure at Auburn was just a five-year quest to tear down the program. He did go undefeated his first year and only lost one game the next year. His decline as a coach over the next three years has been matched only by his annoying commentary for ABC Sports.
Plus, if the diminutive Bowden returned to the sidelines, he wouldn't have to spend his Saturday mornings searching for a Sears catalog to sit on while on camera.
Dave Neal is another possibility. The play-by-play man for Jefferson Pilot Sports would probably love to get a job that doesn't require him to be at work by 9 a.m. on Saturdays, and he has definitely seen plenty of SEC West football over the years.
Still, this is the same guy who, after Florida downed Kentucky a few weeks ago, declared, "And Florida continues its dominance over the Gators!"
While I'm sure Neal loves play by play, change is nothing to fear. And as the son of veteran SEC broadcaster Bob Neal, it would be nice for Dave to have a job that Daddy didn't get for him.
Lee Corso could pull it off. He's another guy with head coaching experience, and like Bowden, did really well for a while before tanking his career. Corso was 28-11-3 in four years at Louisville but leveled off at Indiana and Northern Illinois. I'm sure he'd love to jump back on the coaching carousel, and even if he couldn't revive the Bulldogs' program, he could at least entertain fans by dressing up and acting ridiculous.
Heck, he could suit up as a cowbell. You could strap a big tin shell on him, and I know for a fact that MSU offensive lineman Richard Burch would be big enough to pick Corso up and shake him around in there. Instant endearment.
And you know who Corso's roommate was at Florida State, don't you? Burt Reynolds. Tell me that guy wouldn't be the life of the party at a post-game throwdown. Corso could dress up as Bully, Reynolds could throw on some cowboy regalia, and they could do scenes from "Smokey and the Bandit." Rock on.
If none of these ideas scratch your itch, I've got a dead ringer "Monday Night Football" sideline reporter Lisa Guerrero. I'm a huge fan of Guerrero, but even I can see that this girl won't be hanging around the ABC water cooler much longer. So why not move her to the coaching ranks?
It's be a huge win for the progressives. Guerrero would be the first minority head coach in the SEC, and she'd also be the league's first woman head coach. Her press conferences could be pay-per-view affairs. Instead of playing golf with the coach, the program's top donors could get a pool party with her. Then again, we're talking about the first TV journalist in NFL history to openly flirt with Keyshawn Johnson on camera.
So, about Dave Neal…