By By Robert St. John / food columnist
May 7, 2003
Robert St. John is the executive chef/owner of the Purple Parrot Caf and Crescent City Grill in Hattiesburg and Meridian. If you have any questions or comments, he can be reached at robert@nsrg.com or at (601) 264-0672.
Theme restaurants are strange animals. Trader Vic's started the movement in the 1950s with a Polynesian-influenced menu and overly-fruity rum drinks garnished with miniature toy umbrellas. The modern-day version of the theme restaurant started in the mid-1970s with the London opening of the Hard Rock Caf.
Since then we have witnessed the arrival of concepts paying homage to Hollywood, Motown, country music, the blues, the rain forest and NASCAR.
I assumed all the bases were covered.
I was wrong.
Welcome to the latest theme-restaurant fad: dining in the dark. In New York City people are forking out good money to eat in pitch-black darkness. I'm not talking about a dimly-lit dining room or even a romantic dinner by candlelight. No, I'm talking about can't-see-the-gnocchi-in-front-of-your-face dark; so completely dark that the waiters have to wear high-tech night-vision goggles.
I kid you not – the waiters who work at Suba on Manhattan's lower East Side wear night-vision goggles to serve their customers.
Lighting is important in the restaurant business. In the design stage, much attention is paid to lighting. There are design experts who specialize in nothing but restaurant lighting. At Suba, there is no lighting.
I have been itching to open another restaurant. Maybe I could open one of these dining-in-the-dark restaurant concepts. Think of all of the start-up capital I could save. I wouldn't have to buy matching silverware. I wouldn't have to buy matching chairs either. Matching carpet, who cares? I could create an entire dining room that looked like my first apartment.
Owning a totally dark restaurant would save money on decor. Over the years, I have spent a lot of money hanging original art in our restaurants. At my new dining-in-the-dark diner I could showcase finger-paint works from my daughter's kindergarten class. Who would know? My wife would give me brownie points for that one. This dining-in-the-dark stuff is looking better all the time.
There is an old adage in the restaurant business: you eat first with your eyes. Much thought is put into garnishment, saucing and how well the center-of-the-plate item is presented. You can throw that theory out the window. This new restaurant fad must be good news for chefs everywhere. How easy will it be when the guests can't see your food? Glop it on a plate, send it to the table.
Some chefs might even be tempted to put less food on a guest's plate. When a customer complains that he didn't get enough food. The waiter can say, "It was there a minute ago."
I explained this new concept to my wife. She liked the idea. She's a fan of the movie "91⁄2 Weeks." In that film, Mickey Rourke blindfolded Kim Bassinger and fed her strawberries. The difference here is that Rourke wasn't wearing a blindfold.
He knew where the food was going. In a pitch-black restaurant I wouldn't have the advantage of being able to see my wife's mouth. I might end up sticking a strawberry in her eye or up her nose. Even worse, I might accidentally feed berries to the woman seated next to me, which would prompt my wife to stick strawberries, silverware and finger-paint art up my nose.
Maybe there are some kinks that need to be worked out with the dining-in-the-dark fad. How does one find his way to the bathroom? And how does one know which is the men's room? And once you're there, how do you know where to go? Suba must have the nastiest bathrooms in the five boroughs (and that covers a lot of nasty bathrooms).
What if I returned from the restroom and sat at the wrong table. What if I wound up feeding strawberries to Mickey Rourke? Now that I think of it, Mickey Rourke has been looking rough lately. Maybe he eats at Suba.
Steaks couldn't be served in a dining-in-the-dark restaurant. Giving steak knives to a dining room full of customers who can't see enough to guide the food into their mouths would wreak havoc on your liability insurance. I imagine glass breakage would be an issue, too.
Maybe I'll stick with our well-lit dining rooms, steak knives and matching furniture. If Kim Bassinger ever shows up I'll grab a pint of strawberries and turn the lights off.
Creamy Garlic Salad Dressing
1 cup mayonnaise
2⁄3 cup sour cream
1⁄2 cup buttermilk
5 teaspoons sugar
2 teaspoons garlic, minced
11⁄4 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon dry mustard
1 teaspoon Creole seasoning
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoon black pepper, freshly ground
Mix thoroughly in a blender until all is incorporated. Refrigerate and store in an airtight container.